Monthly Archives: June 2014

Let’s be kind

I’ve recently read “The Kalahari Typing School for Men” by Alexander McCall Smith. I enjoyed it very much, as much as all the previous books in the “The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Series“ and other books by this author.

The following quote from “The Kalahari Typing School for Men” drew my attention and made me want to count it to my favorite quotes:

“People’s lives are delicate: you cannot interfere with them without running the risk of changing them profoundly. A chance remark, a careless involvement, may make the difference between a life of happiness and one of sorrow.” Alexander McCall Smith

This is very true. We sometimes do not think what impression our behavior and words can make on people surrounding us and their lives. We follow our agendas and often forget that these might collide with agendas and feelings of others. Being present, attentive, interested in and compassionate to everyone around us will directly lead to smiles, understanding and less conflicts between people. I’m impressed again and again by effect of a genuine smile on other people. Their faces light up and there is at least one small second of pure happiness in them.

And there is someone else we have to treat kind. Ourselves. We have all those self-judging and annihilating thoughts. We often don’t realize that we offend ourselves as much as or even more than a hurtful word from another person.

Here is my call-out to everyone who reads this, including myself:

Let’s be kind to ourselves and everyone around us.

Picture: One of the best places to get “infected” by a smile is a celebration or a big party. I’ve seen many wonderful smiles at the Sankt Hans celebrations in Aalborg last week.

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A revolutionary discovery

I made an experiment last week. I held two of our juggling soft-balls – Don’t think that I can juggle. I bought them a while ago, so that I could practice to juggle. I am still figuring out when I will start practicing. – One at the height of my hip and another at the point where my mouth is. Then I let them fall.

As you might have expected, the first ball, held at the height of the hip, fell first. To make sure I got the things right, I repeated the experiment. Same result.

Now, I am pregnant with my second baby. As during the first pregnancy and as for many pregnant women, I lost weight at its beginning.

But, and here comes the unexpected, the first place I lost weight on my body, was my face! My hips don’t show any sign of any loss. They are as plump and rosy as ever. Not requiring new tighter trousers. In fact, I need now trousers larger at my waste level.

As former experimental physicist, this took me aback. How could this be? All my knowledge in physics seems to be turned upside down. I mean, I should, as any large subject or object in this world follow the laws of gravity. But my weight doesn’t seem to follow it!

So, I decided to bring out a theory. It goes as follows:

Classical laws of physics do not apply to the change process of the human weight distribution.

At least it sounds like a postulate. 😉

The next step is to verify this effect with quantum mechanics and nanophysics. The experiments there might however mean more effort to undertake than the one with the juggling balls.

P.S. It is quite funny what kind of thoughts come to one during pregnancy. And you can stay assured that I really performed the experiment. As written above: twice.

Pictures: My two babies. One as the cutest Spiderman ever, today during Sankt Hans’s celebrations in Aalborg, and another unborn.

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Where to find the most beautiful colors

Spring and summer indulge us with abundance of colors of flowers. I am drawn to them by their colors and enigmatic fragrances.

One quote in German drew my attention recently:

“Blumen anschauen hat etwas Beruhigendes:

Sie kennen weder Emotionen noch Konflikte“. Sigmund Freud

And my interpretation:

„Looking at flowers brings something soothing with itself:

They know neither emotions nor conflicts.” Sigmund Freud.

Flowers had always special meaning and place in my family. My father loved wild flowers. His love to them inspired me to write the following passage in the Chapter 3 of the novel I am writing about my father:

“The most exciting thing about her clothes were the colors. Today she wore a black skirt with large red, white and yellow flower print over black nylon tights, a white blouse and a red jacket. I never saw such bright, clear colors on clothes before. I was used to faded and washed out colors, as the one on the light brown and white jacket I wore now. The only place I saw the colors on Liuda’s clothes was in nature, on flowers and butterflies. A rainbow of wild flowers bloomed in the backyard of the orphanage and I loved watching butterflies dancing their peculiar dances around each flower. And I’d think how nice it would be to be seen like that. Just for being. Such seeing was not natural to humans. Or was Liuda about to prove me wrong by turning the attention of a beautiful butterfly to such an invisible flower as me?

Picture: Beautiful gifts from our garden. I smile when I realize my father would love them. Do you see the smiley, which spied itself into the picture?

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Men’s friendship

With this post I am starting a new category in my blog. There are some jokes that I very much like and cherish, and would like to share with you and at some point also with my children, grandchildren and so on. They are too funny and too wise to be forgotten and are always wonderful to be rediscovered. I am sure that I will revisit this category many times to reread various jokes I have heard and learned over the years.

I first heard the joke, I would like to share with you today, when I was a teenager. And it is one of the first to come to my mind when somebody asks me to tell a joke or if a girlfriend exclaims: “Men!” when men are holding together in a discussion.

Here it comes.


A man is very late when he comes home. His wife is waiting for him and asks where he’s been.

“Oh, I went to Pit’s place and we had a beer, then another, then one more. We completely forgot about time. You know how it is. Then I had to wait long for a bus. Sorry, honey, for making you worry.”

Right after that, his wife calls Pit: “Hi, Pit. How are you? Yes, yes, I am well too, thank you. Listen, tell me, was my husband at your place today?”

The answer comes promptly: “Yes, sure! He’s still here!”

Picture: My father valued friendship a lot and he was of opinion that friendship with a man was the strongest. Later I have learned that friendship does not depend on gender. Here is a picture of my father in 1962 in Odessa, shortly after his wedding with my mother, who was probably his only best friend among women, his greatest love and his soul mate. I have also posted this photograph on my home page today. I love my father’s relaxed and happy gaze on this picture.


No need to regret regrets

Have you ever judged the prejudiced? Or have been intolerant to those who show intolerance toward other people or their ways? Or have you ever regretted that you were sorry about something?

I definitely did and will probably do it at some point again. Both to my own prejudices, intolerances and regrets, and to those of the people I cross ways with.

The positive thinking, we hear is good for us, might make us suggest that there is no place for negative feelings in our lives. Or there shouldn’t be.

I definitely thought so and when somebody wrinkled his or her nose upon something I was trying to list all the positive sides of this something, even if being honest I myself would wrinkle my nose too.

But the truth is that what happened, happened, and should have happened. Otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. Thus, however we might deny and resist it, there are times for regrets, prejudices and times when we have an urge to be intolerant.

The great thing is that when we just step back and watch with curiousness and awareness, we notice amazing things about human nature and those negative things and feelings do not appear negative anymore. They are just natural features of our thrilling reality. They are signs that guide us toward certain turns in our lives.

Understanding and experiencing this brought me a huge relief. I don’t have to worry about my or anyone else’s worries anymore. All I have to be is to be present and aware. And listening. And truly observing without judging. And then something wonderful happens: everything I let be, lets me be.

Learning this brought both relief and fear, because I was afraid to forget some nice experiences. Letting go was for me equivalent to taking farewell forever.

But that is not true either. We can keep all those memories, of both “good” and “bad” and still be able to let go, or rather let all that to have been or to have happened.

And those supposedly “bad” things add deep, intensive colors to our lives’ paintings.

I wish you fun in discovering and painting the picture of your life!

Picture: Being ones of my favorite animals, along with elephants, mice, donkeys and turtles, giraffes symbolize true curiosity for me. I met these giraffes at the Aalborg zoo about a week ago.