Category Archives: A mother’s diary

In his own words

I accompanied Niklas to vaccination and the four-year-check to the doctor’s today.

He did cry a bit during vaccination, because it did hurt, but he was truly in the moment, also right after the vaccination, accepting the praise for being so brave. He did calm down fast and said shortly afterwards that it didn’t hurt anymore.

Then we went to the doctor’s for the health check. When Niklas got measured in height, I got completely excited. My son is 105 cm tall! Now he could go for the carrousels and adventures in the leisure parks, which he wanted so much before but couldn’t attend because he was smaller than 104 cm. Now he is hundred and five!

Niklas didn’t quite understand the number, but by seeing my reaction he also got all excited. He tried to remember the number several times and then gave up by saying, “You will tell Papa how big I am when he comes home.”

After some time though he found his own definition for his height: “I am big up to the head!”

He also said, “Mama, you are not big up to the head anymore, you are bigger. The adults cannot be big up to the head. Only big children can. And I am a boy, you are not a boy.”

“No,” I said, “I am a woman and I was a girl when I was small.”

“Yes, and I am not a girl, I am a boy. And I will be …”

I helped. “A man when you grow up.”

“Yes, I will be a man.” After a pause, my very proud boy asked, “When is Papa back [from his business trip], so that I can tell him that I am big up to the head?”

Picture: my big boy jumping from big heights.

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A lovely day

Today was one of those days full of “all those little matters on which the daily happiness of private life depends” (A quote from “Emma” by Jane Austen, which I found quoted in the book “101 Things You Didn’t Know About Jane Austen” by Patrice Hannon).

One of the possible reasons for this wonderful day was surely because it was illuminated by one big happy event. My son’s birthday. I have a big and very proud boy of four years. As the card, which he got from my mother today says, he “can do now all those things, which [he] could not do when [he] was three years old”. This makes him immensely happy and proud. He confirmed this by a happy sigh today and saying: “Oh, I am so happy!”

This happy event of my son’s birthday led to many sweet calls and greetings from our family and friends, from Germany, Denmark and even France.

And of course a big party in the kindergarten. On our way from downtown, where we celebrated his day in his favourite restaurant, home, Niklas sang to us songs his friends sang to him in the kindergarten including all the “Hurray!” exclamations interpreted by him with much enthusiasm, as well as a song he sang as a thank-you answer to them. He even translated those songs for us by singing them in German. I suspect, with a smile on my face, that he composed at least parts of those songs as he sang them to us.

Picture: all the small things and special attentions surrounding this special day made us, his parents, extremely happy and proud. This colourful greeting met Niklas and us today on the kindergarten’s entrance door.

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A big hug

IMG_0006My son Niklas visited my colleagues in the office with me today. Since I haven’t seen all of them for a while, I got many hugs.

After the second hug from my colleagues, Niklas hurried with open arms to me and gave me a big hug, too.

Picture: The sweetest pirate ever.

 

 

 

A philosophical question by a three-and-a-half-years old

Yesterday Niklas was glad to discover that I was working on my computer in the guest room, next to his bedroom, when he woke up.

He decided that he wanted to sleep on the guest sofa a little and allowed me to continue my work. He didn’t sleep as announced. He laid comfortably on his back, head on his palms and scanned the ceiling and the room.

“Mama, do I steer my eyes?”

The question startled me and I turned to Niklas to find out more.

He continued. “Do people steer their eyes, or do the eyes steer themselves?”

He has put this question in German pronouncing the word “eyes” as “Óigen” instead of “Augen”.

I was amazed at this question. “Wow! This is a very good question”, I said.

Niklas beamed.

I started to contemplate aloud about a possible answer. He listened to me attentively without interrupting.

Then I said, “I think it is both, sweetie. At times, when we want to see something, we direct our eyes to the thing we want to see. And sometimes we see something, what we don’t expect, but what surprises us and draws our interest.”

Niklas thought for a second, smiled, nodded and said, “Now you can look again at your computer.”

Phew! Exam passed.

Picture: Close your eyes and make a wish.

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Taken care of by a small child – Part 2

The title of this blog post is incorrect. My son, Niklas insists that he is a big boy. He is almost four, but he says he is three and half years old. And he can take care of others. He does it every day. In his own wonderful way.

Recently, he made one of my wishes come true.

Shortly after Easter we found out that our family of three will become a family of four by the end of the year.

We are awaiting a girl.

Niklas was very disappointed when we found this out, because he wanted a little brother, whose name would be Gilbert, after one of his best friends at the kindergarten.

I started searching in the internet for popular girl names. I read through the list to Michael, my husband, and Niklas. Michael said he liked all names on the list.

After several days, my favorite name became Emma. I realized it when I talked to my niece and a girlfriend of mine about Jane Austen and also about her books from other authors based on Austen’s books. “Emma” by Alexander McCall Smith comes out end of this year. And Emma has been always my favorite from Austen’s characters.

When I considered why, I was surprised. It was not because she was perfect. On the contrary, she had flaws, was a little arrogant and at times a bit ignorant to wishes of others. She thought she knew what was good for others. But I like her because she was willing to learn. And she was kind, sweet and quirky. With time she became even more kind, attentive, humble without losing her sweetness or quirkiness.

As I thought of this, I realized that someday I want to give this book to my daughter. I would like her to know that I don’t expect her to be perfect. I just want her to find her way and be healthy and happy along this way. And to live long. These are the three wishes I have for my children, my husband and all people I hold dear to my heart. That they are healthy, happy and live long. For me, these three include everything else. For example, one of the character features I value the most, the ability and wish to learn and be curious, is on my opinion a component of being happy.

But Niklas had of course another idea. He wanted his sister to be named Gitte Marie. I argued that we need only one name, because so far in our family every one of us has only one given name. Niklas claimed that Gitte Marie was only one word, one name. He pronounced it in one breath. GitteMarie.

Niklas talks a lot about the new baby at the kindergarten and that he will be a big brother soon. The educators put many warm and interested questions to me about the pregnancy and how I feel and how we talk about it in the family.

I told them about GitteMarie and their answer was: “How sweet! But he probably means Ida Marie. This is the girl we have here and this is the only name coming close to what Niklas says.”

On the same day on the way home, I told Niklas about his friend Ida Marie at the kindergarten and her name. I completely forgot to think or to talk about my preferences. I only mentioned that we need to have one name. Not two.

Suddenly, Niklas asked me: “What name do you prefer?”

“Emma”, I said.

“So be it. Let her be Emma.”

This was a big surprise for me. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, but we will need to ask your Dad if he agrees.”

The first thing Niklas did when we entered our apartment was running to his Dad and asking, “Papa, do you have anything against my baby sister being called Emma?”

Michael looked surprised and answered with a smile, “Nothing at all.”

Niklas looked triumphantly at me and said, “So it is decided. She will be Emma.”

Since then, I started calling my daughter by her first name when I talk about her or to her. And every time I say “Emma”, Niklas’ face brightens up as if remembering, “Ah yes, this is my baby sister!”

This sweet story will always remain in my memory. Niklas didn’t only make one of my wishes come true but he did also something else: he embraced this idea as his own and was very proud of it. I am very proud of my son and thankful to him that he reminded me how wonderful it is to say yes to what is coming our way, also when we take a little time to say yes.

Picture: Niklas and I and a swing.

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